Log Fire, Pint, Crisps: Scoring Twelve Americana Songs Against the Great British Pub
Photo: cosy traditional british pub interior with log fire and pint of ale, warm low light, via swimsuit.si.com
There is a particular kind of silence in a British pub at about twenty past eight on a Tuesday in November. The rain is doing that thing against the windows. Someone's dog has claimed the spot in front of the fire. The landlord has just put the music on and everyone in the room has quietly agreed to be judged by it.
That is the arena. Not the O2, not a festival field in August with a paper pint and a distant portaloo. A proper pub, a proper jukebox or a Bluetooth speaker behind the bar, and a room full of people who will absolutely have an opinion about what comes next.
So we built a scoring system. It is not scientific. It is, we think, more useful than science.
How the scoring works
Every track gets marked out of nine across three categories.
- Log fire (out of 3): does it warm the room? Does someone look up from their phone?
- Pint of ale (out of 3): does it suit a slow sup, a long conversation, or does it demand a bit of swaying that nobody in Norfolk is ready for?
- Packet of crisps (out of 3): the all-important one. Does it survive the crunch? Can you talk over it? Does it make you want to stay for one more?
Nine is perfect. Anything under five should probably be played after eleven, when standards slip and nobody minds.
The twelve, graded
1. Gillian Welch — 'Everything Is Free'
Log fire 3, Pint 3, Crisps 3. Nine.
The gold standard. It is slow enough that nobody feels obliged to do anything, sad enough to feel honest and beautiful enough that the room goes slightly quiet without anyone noticing. This is the song that turns a pub into a place where people stay for the second bag of crisps.
2. Charley Crockett — 'Welcome to Hard Times'
Log fire 3, Pint 2, Crisps 3. Eight.
Deceptively easy. Sounds like it's been on the jukebox since 1974. The mild deduction is only because a certain type of man in a flat cap will start explaining the Texas influence to his wife, and the wife has heard it before.
3. Margo Price — 'Hands of Time'
Log fire 3, Pint 2, Crisps 2. Seven.
Gorgeous, but it asks for attention. Fine on a quiet night with four people in. Dangerous on a Friday when the darts team arrives.
4. Jason Isbell — 'Cover Me Up'
Log fire 3, Pint 3, Crisps 2. Eight.
Might be the most emotionally loaded seven minutes in the whole jukebox. Works best in a pub where two old mates are having the sort of conversation that only happens after the third pint.
5. The Handsome Family — 'Far From Any Road'
Log fire 2, Pint 2, Crisps 2. Six.
Somebody will ask who it is. Somebody will say it's that detective programme. Both are fine. It earns its six on atmosphere alone.
6. Tyler Childers — 'Lady May'
Log fire 3, Pint 2, Crisps 3. Eight.
A slow ramble of a thing. Pairs with a stout. Also pairs with the realisation that you have been standing at the bar for ten minutes and could have sat down.
7. Lucinda Williams — 'Essence'
Log fire 2, Pint 2, Crisps 3. Seven.
That groove is a gift. It gives the room permission to not pay full attention, which is exactly what the crisps category is measuring.
8. Colter Wall — 'Sleeping on the Blacktop'
Log fire 3, Pint 1, Crisps 2. Six.
That voice arrives like a tractor reversing. Brilliant, but it stops conversation stone dead, and in a small pub that is a big ask. Best deployed at closing time when nobody has anything left to say anyway.
9. First Aid Kit — 'Emmylou'
Log fire 3, Pint 3, Crisps 3. Nine.
Perfect pub song. Uplifting, familiar to anyone who has ever had a Spotify account, and it makes people sing the harmony without realising. If your local hasn't discovered this one, tell them.
10. Sturgill Simpson — 'Turtles All the Way Down'
Log fire 2, Pint 3, Crisps 2. Seven.
Fast enough to be interesting, strange enough to be fun. Loses a crisp for the bit where it goes somewhere unexpected and a table of people all look at each other.
11. Yola — 'Faraway Look'
Log fire 3, Pint 2, Crisps 2. Seven.
That voice fills a low-ceilinged room like smoke. Genuinely brilliant. Slightly too commanding for a Tuesday, absolutely correct for a Saturday.
12. Chris Stapleton — 'Tennessee Whiskey'
Log fire 2, Pint 1, Crisps 3. Six.
Here is our controversial call. The internet loves it, the pub respects it, but in Britain it has been played so many times that it has crossed over into wallpaper. It will always get a reaction. It will rarely get a second thought.
What the numbers tell us
The pub test isn't really about quality. Half the tracks that scored nine would never trouble a chart, and the one everybody knows by heart came sixth. What matters is whether a song can hold a room without demanding anything back — whether it can be background and foreground at the same time.
That is a very British requirement, and it is why so much Americana fits here. This music is built for rooms with wooden floors and low beams. It expects people to be sitting down. It knows the value of a long pause.
Over to you
Every local has one. A track that gets played when the landlord is feeling generous and everyone nods because it's the right song for that room and that night. Ours is 'Everything Is Free', but we know people who'd argue for 'Pancho and Lefty' until closing.
So tell us. What is your local's unofficial country anthem? The one that gets a small cheer from the two blokes at the end of the bar? Drop it in the comments or find us on the socials and we'll build a reader's version of this list for the new year, with full credit to the pubs that started it.
Bring your scores. We'll bring the crisps.
